Cancer

The Roller Coaster Ride

I remember sitting on my very first roller coaster ride in West Edmonton Mall back in 2008. I was 11 years old at the time and I was peer pressured to go on the ride. I knew I wouldn’t enjoy it but I got on it anyway. Once the ride started, my hands started turning white from gripping the handlebars too tightly and I was screaming so loudly, as if my life was about to end.

What I Wish I Knew About Getting a Thyroid Cancer Diagnosis

I wanted to write about some things I wish knew about thyroid cancer. I just know how scary and frightening a thyroid cancer diagnosis is. I went through thyroid cancer treatment and radioactive iodine treatment for my thyroid cancer. It can be a scary experience for anyone who has a family history of thyroid issues. As a thyroid cancer survivor, it can make you feel a lot of mixed emotions, and it can cause some toxic thoughts.

Cancer’s Crash Course in Relationships…

Cancer is a disease caused by the uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body. It has uncontrollably killed my relationships and then has divided my surviving relationships into abnormal categories. These categories are: cancer is slowly killing us, cancer made us stronger, and cancer left us somewhere in the middle. Cancer has impacted my friendships, and I haven’t found a treatment that works yet.

Cancer Friends

Friends.

Cancer during COVID. Seven hours from family. Neutropenic in the middle of a global pandemic. An unexpected passenger on the roller coaster of life.

The Phrases That Define Us

“Call it by its full name—just saying ‘cancer’ gives it power over you.”

That was the advice given to me by my first managing oncologist (he helped manage my treatment, while a local guy monitored and took care of things if I was in the hospital) near the time I was diagnosed.

Survivorship is Hard

Survivorship is hard. It never goes away. You always live a bit on the edge, wondering what will happen next. Or even if you’re going to make it through the day. I’m by myself. Live by myself, drive by myself, flying solo (to the shock of the friendly Costco lady today). If I didn’t respond to any messages and wasn’t online for 24 hours my coworkers Daniel and Savannah would check in on me. But that’s a long time. 

Silver Linings

When you think of your life and how it’s supposed to go, cancer never enters the picture. But when it does, everything stops, at least temporarily. While you try to wrap your mind around the thought that this disease just might kill you.

To All of the People I’ve Been Before

To little me:

You’re going to do big things. I love you and all that you grow up to be.

Dear Future Cancer Patient

You may be thinking that this letter made its way to you late. I assure you it didn’t. What good would have been accomplished if I had warned you of the tragedy to befall you? Would you have wanted all of your present moments to be tainted with the anxiety of the arduous journey ahead? Worry will cost you twice if you let it, once in the present and again in the future.

An AYA’s Journey Through AML, Academia, and Advocacy

At the young age of 21, just a few weeks into my first semester of grad school, life took a drastic turn. A diagnosis that no one expects—Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) with the FLT3 mutation. In the midst of textbooks and lectures, my world shifted to hospital rooms and treatment plans. The words “you have cancer” reverberated in my ears, altering the trajectory of my life.