Cancer

Running “Away” from Cancer

For years before I had cancer, I was a runner. I started in 2014, just doing 5ks and eventually training for my first 10k. In 2016, I signed up for my first marathon and ran for a charity team. The same year, I got to see firsthand the charity work, and I knew I wanted to keep running marathons and fundraising for my cause.

Sweater Weather

Last December, I finished knitting a sweater that I’ve been working on for close to four years. I started the sweater just before I began chemotherapy at age 37, diagnosed with Stage 3c colon cancer after my second child was born. During my cancer treatment, I was balancing the demands of parenting, working, and being a patient, and it often felt like too much to bear. But when I’d pull out my yarn, I’d find a sense of equilibrium, and I’d lose myself in the knit and purl.

Coping Rhythms

Cancer wrecks careers, family goals, travel plans, marriages, relationships, dreams, and, most importantly, our health. You might think that grace would be extended to a person battling cancer and carrying their family through the trenches, but it often doesn’t happen. Meanwhile, cancer screams to team up against these awful cells, but your significant other wants to bail.

Choose Happiness

Don’t get me wrong, cancer is f’in hard and filled with ups and downs. It’s a really crappy rollercoaster that we don’t want to ride but were forced to ride. In order to maintain a bit of sanity, I needed to find ways to prioritize myself and focus on self-care and self love. Nowadays, some people ask me, “Carrie, how do you do it? How do you keep a positive attitude?” Trust me; it takes A LOT of work and dedication.

Seeing Beyond the Labels

If you were to visit the social media page of a cancer patient who openly shares their diagnosis, I’m willing to bet $5 that their comment section would resemble something like this: “You are so brave!”; “You are so strong!”; “You are an inspiration!”; “You are a warrior!” Seemingly well-meaning comments that end up feeling less like compliments and more like expectations.

Dude, Where’s My Erection? Part III

We’ve made it to the final installment of this series! Part I highlighted how and why erection problems can occur after cancer, and Part II outlined some of the pharmacological options available to help improve erectile function for cancer survivors. However, not all erection issues require a prescription, and not all penises respond well to medicines. 

Is This Mic On? Testing…123…Testing…

What we say to each other matters. Most of us know that but often speak before thinking. I know I have and will; I am human and make mistakes. I try to ensure my language is helpful, supportive, and sassy. I have learned that disclosing your cancer diagnosis invites people to share unsolicited thoughts, cancer stories, medical advice, opinions on your lifestyle, and so much more.

Saying the Word Cancer for the First Time

I remember the first time I said the word “cancer” out loud, admitting to myself that I indeed had the diagnosis. Saying this type of word for the first time was much like saying a cuss word for the first time—a forbidden fruit of sorts and brace yourself for impact kind of moment. Once you form the words and the sound of the word echoes in your ear, the initial fear of the word slowly subsides and you begin to slowly process your diagnosis.

Words Have Power

Research shows that the statement “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is untrue. Words not only influence how we feel but how we experience the world around us—our reality. They can lift us up or bring us down and even cause harm (e.g. bullying).

Thus, they can be a source of great power, but also, of incredible disempowerment.

Just for Today

Can I tell myself just for today
that I love myself
That if ever I was to love myself
It would be today in this moment