Hodgkin’s lymphoma
Listening to Folklore as a Cancer Survivor
If you haven’t heard the new Taylor Swift album yet, this is your friendly reminder to go check it out. I have to admit, since her style has shifted, I haven’t been following her super closely, but when she announced her new album’s release in the midst of quarantine, she had me hooked.
Read More...Your Fear is Valid
This fear that I feel is not uncommon in this world. So many survivors and patients are struggling with this right now. People who don’t understand it may call it irrational, but what it truly is is valid. We have been through so much, so no wonder a global pandemic would bring out those fears. We’ve lived periods of our lives in which we avoided sickness as much as possible, because of how detrimental it can be when in treatment with a suppressed immune system.
Read More...Disappearing Behind the Diagnosis
I’ve found myself pondering and writing about friendships a lot lately. I think all human beings are created for connection, and that is something that I personally crave so much. Having obstacles to that connection is so frustrating, and I’m still piecing together what life looks like these days since finishing treatment.
Read More...My Real Cancer Story, No BS
Eventually, I decided to go on mediation because I just felt like I wasn’t improving to the point where my quality of life was stable…I just wanted to be happy again, and finally, I can truly say that I am. Being on medication for your mental health is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes we need help because our body balance is just off tilt enough to cause us daily pain and suffering. I didn’t want to suffer anymore. Being brave is about being honest, and for me meant that I needed a little extra help to balance my body and take that edge off. After 5 years of being stuck in a void of darkness and pain, I can finally say that I have found my happiness and will to live again.
Read More...Friendships Through Cancer: It’s Complicated
Although I do wish many of those friendships didn’t end the way they did, I don’t want to make anyone feel guilty for not knowing the “right” thing to do. It’s hard for anyone to figure out how to react in a situation like this, and if I’m being honest, I could come up with a huge list of what not to do and a very limited list of what to do.
Read More...Man’s Best Friend
I haven’t experienced loss to this degree before. At least when I was old enough to remember. I had no clue this would be so hard. And throwing cancer into the mix – or even the possibility of cancer – makes this so much harder. I know what it’s like to go through that. But the difference is, I made it out on the other side.
Read More...Find What Works For You
It still hits me all over again sometimes. The fact that I had cancer. But the difference is, now I have people to turn to who feel the same way. People who are actually close to my age and have had a port, been administered chemo, gotten radiation. I might be the quietest person on those Zoom calls, but it still makes such a big impact on me.
Read More...When Your Life Becomes the Story: Poetry and Prose
The thing about the stories we read or watch is that there’s typically an ending. You can wrap the plot up in a tight little bow and be done with it. That’s not life. We are continuously growing and changing and recreating our own narrative. I definitely have trouble with that concept; if I had my way, I would just skip to the end: the parts where I’ve recovered emotionally from cancer and have put the pain of the past completely behind me.
Read More...Survival is Insufficient
Now there is scientific research showing that the young adult cancer population, aged 18-39, is the most isolated age-group who experiences cancer, and that this isolation is linked to all sorts of quality of life issues. It affects survival rates, reintegration into normal life, and a host of other things. There is data showing that surviving cancer is not enough, we must also be helped to thrive. There is data showing that survival is insufficient.
Read More...This Is My Reality
Until now, I haven’t realized that, two years after my cancer diagnosis, once I’ve reached that state of running on empty, a lot of unresolved anger about cancer resurfaces. I’ve tried to tuck it away for so long, but I have to face it eventually. I remember how angry I was when I had to do more chemo. That was when I knew I had to take a semester off of school. I would have to miss out on time with friends and just living like a normal college student.
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