Hodgkin’s lymphoma

Time Doesn’t Erase Memories

I happily chattered as I walked into a visitor center for a large company along with about 50 others in my similar profession. I knew we were visiting a company with a healthcare imaging division, but I also knew them for many other products.

Reality is…. Surviving Survival

Today’s the day! After all the tests, doctor’s appointments, biopsy, bloodwork, scans, treatment, hospital stays, and infusions, you get to ring the bell!! You are in remission!

The Waiting Room

I sit here in the hospital waiting room, pondering platitudes, since I have nothing better to do. Perhaps the best way to become friends with time is to decide it doesn’t exist.

Fake It Until You Make It

When you see cancer portrayed in the media, there are two common storylines. Either the patient is dying, or they are living their “best life” despite it all.

Stuck in the In-Between

I’ve always been fascinated by those stories of people going through “near death experiences,” like when someone gets struck by lightning or nearly steps out in front of a car. That may sound slightly morbid, but it’s more about the life changing catalyst that these events seem to bring about. The survivors appear to have a whole new vigor for existing. They feel more alive than ever… so why don’t I?

Dear Body

Dear Body,

I don’t know exactly when I began to lose my trust in you, but I vividly remember the moment all trust was shattered. I remember how you had annoyed me with random aches and pains, and a myriad of problems through my teenage years, but you still allowed me to work out intensely at the gym and lift quite a lot of weight in the form of furniture.

Unstable Ground and Holding Hope Gently

Two days before my final treatment, I write myself a letter in my journal. Everything does not happen for a reason, but I can’t deny that I’ve found one anyway.

Dear Cancer, Remember Me?

Dear Cancer,

Wow, I can’t believe it has been 28 years since I met you. You stopped my life in my teenage tracks and at the same time gave me a perception of gratitude and life I never knew was possible. One day I was playing varsity field hockey and the next I was holed up on the Upper West Side getting chemo.

Dear Cancer

Dear Cancer,

you probably don’t remember me.
you’ve probably seen a million kids since you met me.
there are thousands of kids that they couldn’t save,

Dear Cancer, Isn’t It Ironic?

Dear Cancer,

Read those two words again, isn’t it ironic? “Dear cancer.” Two words that should never be side by side, but here they are placed together so carelessly and yet also intentionally.