The Sweeping Sadness. Not Enough Time.

The Sweeping Sadness
Not enough time.

When you are told that you have an incurable disease, it doesn’t process. It doesn’t connect in your brain that you are going to die. You always knew you were going to die, but do we understand what that means, or do we sweep it away as an after thought. Incapable of processing this bit of information, an incredible sadness sweeps over you and no matter what you do to try and hide it, it envelops you like a tsunami. At that moment you can’t face the world and you disappear into your mind. Threads, scraps, bits of information all swarming around inside you. You want to move towards the light but all you crave is the wet, mouldy darkness that waits for you patiently to give it attention.

The darkness that comes in is not one that lets you sleep. In an instance, you are different forever.

You begin to understand every being on an entirely different plane. This new world inside your mind sees a crack of light seep in, and this is when you start to make decisions for what you truly care about. It’s finally the beginning again. There is no longer a race for goals that were meaningless to start with. The newness that evolves is what matters, relishing in the journey, no longer in the dark one walks into the path of light to find a new beginning. One that matters, or does it..