Poems

Alive

The boundaries are blurred, so I wait
Observing from a distance,
I consider my fate

In time there’s some meaning
I establish my feelings
A calming naivety, au fait

Unintentionally Sharp

I hate that I loved it most
at its weakest
I did not eat dry toast
or monotonous meals
My secret was dying a little
while trying not to die a lot

Forty Thousand Feet

forty thousand feet.
a terrifying height.
at least it was,
it used to be.
every bump,
every shake would send me
over the edge.

Cold & In the Wide-Open Air

Dear Cancer,
I am so far from
the me who sat in that chair
cold and so afraid.

Dear Cancer, I am Still the Author of my Own Story

I am learning that while I may not be in control, I am still the author of my own story

You, cancer, are lurking in the shadows,
Waiting for a moment to appear again
in the tender skin on my clavicle.

Dear Cancer, Thank You for Helping Me Find Myself

Dear Breast Cancer,

Thank you.

Thank you for helping me find myself.
Thank you for releasing toxicity in my life.
Thank you for restoring my smile.
Thank you for forcing me to set boundaries.

Night Vision

Some years are a dark tunnel / claustrophobic with exhaust / Some, an open field / the biggest sky and the slightest breeze / And I suspect some years / fall somewhere in between / But my memory lately / is of the extremes

Business As Unusual

It is hard to resume
business as usual
when you’ve watched the clock’s hand
move toward midnight
as flesh

No Fear

There’s a tattoo inscribed on my side. / It has today’s date -September 14th / 2001 / Twenty years ago. / Underneath the date are two words written in beautiful cursive / No. Fear. / I don’t know why I followed that date with that phrase.

Letter to my Unborn Children

I always knew having you was a long shot, a thought, a wild dream / Yet night after night I prayed over my womb asking God to bless me with the gift of Life / I had dreams of feeling your every movement from within my womb / Hearing your heartbeat for the first time