Dear Cancer

Dear Cancer, You are the Great Paradox

Dear Cancer,

You have changed me in more ways than I can count.

First, there was the big change, the news of your existence falling from the sky, scorching the earth of my body, and breaking apart my safe little world. When you arrived, you changed so much.

Dear Cancer, I am Still the Author of my Own Story

I am learning that while I may not be in control, I am still the author of my own story

You, cancer, are lurking in the shadows,
Waiting for a moment to appear again
in the tender skin on my clavicle.

Dear Cancer, I Would Not Wish You on Anyone

Dear Bladder Cancer,

I have so many mixed feelings about you. I didn’t even know bladder cancer was a thing until the moment I was diagnosed with it. I am angry that you are so common, but no one is talking about you.

Dear Cancer, I Never Agreed to be With You

Dear Cancer,

May 1, 2022, will be our four-year anniversary. From day one, this “relationship” has only been one sided. I never agreed to be with you and for this to be a “‘till death do us part” commitment. I don’t even know how we became an “item.”

Dear Cancer, You Were Never Fully in Charge

Dear Cancer,

You are already a power hog, a bully, so I try to ignore you believing that negative behavior is just desperate for attention. Perhaps if I don’t give it to you, you will go away.

Dear Cancer, Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

Dear Cancer,

In November 2021, I was diagnosed with you after five weeks of hospital appointments, scans, and blood tests. I was 28 years old. I am 29 years old now and eight cycles into chemotherapy, with four more to go before the next progress scan.

Dear Cancer, You Have Awakened Me

Dear Cancer,

You showed up when I least expected it. I suppose that’s how it always goes. I remember the air being sucked from my lungs for a brief minute, then, awkwardly, my mind went still, and I just stared out the window.

Dear Cancer, This Has Not Been a Linear Journey

Dear Cancer,

Last year I wrote you a letter like this one, but now I am in a very different place, and I have a lot more to say. Last year when I wrote to you, I was a 23-year-old patient struggling with the effects of chemo. Now I am a 24-year-old survivor trying to heal and find my footing again.

Dear Cancer, I Feel So Much Guilt

Why do you choose to end my friends’ lives instead of mine? They’re parents and spouses too. Some of them had much less time with their kids than I have had with mine. All of them were so accomplished and loving. I feel so much guilt over this.

Dear Cancer, I Will Not Thank You, Ever

A Poem to cancer from the Steven G. Cancer Foundation and Elephants and Tea President.