Dear Cancer

My Own Worst Enemy

Dear Cancer,

I’ll never forget the day we met. We were introduced haphazardly by the radiologist who read my CT scan results, just minutes after I left my appointment.

Dear Cancer, You Were Never the Ending

You didn’t just show up—you broke in.
You didn’t knock; you kicked the door in, tossed your shoes on my clean floor, and made yourself comfortable in places you were never invited.

Dear Cancer, You Will Constantly Lose

Dear Cancer,

I never would have thought that I would be given an opportunity to send a letter to you and tell you how much you have meant in my life.

We Are More Than Our Diagnoses

Dear Cancer,

You might think you’re strong.

You’ve shown up like a thief in the night, uninvited and unapologetic.

How Do I Find Life With You?

Dear Cancer,

Here I go again, writing to you. Sometimes it feels like I’m writing to a frenemy who won’t go away because you’ve made the biggest impact on my life.

Dear Cancer, Remember Me?

Dear Cancer,

Wow, I can’t believe it has been 28 years since I met you. You stopped my life in my teenage tracks and at the same time gave me a perception of gratitude and life I never knew was possible. One day I was playing varsity field hockey and the next I was holed up on the Upper West Side getting chemo.

Dear Cancer: I Will Never Say Thank You

Dear Cancer,

If I tell you this, promise not to tell anyone else, because I can barely bring myself to write it, and I will never say this out loud.

Dear Cancer, I Might Miss You

Dear Cancer,

I have written this letter to you a thousand times in my head. Each time, I argued about how I felt about you. How could I be angry at something that takes such an impersonal form? You aren’t even real. You don’t have a soul.

I’m Positive I Hate You

Dear ALK Positive,

I guess it’s time we became acquainted.

You’ve chosen this body to be your vessel. It would have been nice if you’d asked before rudely invading. Even trying to hide while you spread yourself out across more space than you needed.

Dearest Cancer

Dear Cancer,

July 1, 2020. You entered my life like a subway train speeding to its next stop. You brought so many words. Terrifying words. Confusing words. Complicated words. Hormones. Invasive ductal carcinoma. Margins. Stages. Lymph nodes. Metastasis. Surgery.