Cancer

Social Work is my Super Power

“So we looked at the results of the biopsy,” the nervous Physician’s Assistant kept shifting his weight back and forth and back and forth. He snapped his left glove a few times. “…and the results did indicate cancer…We don’t know how far along it is really, so we need some more tests…”

I laughed. Loudly. Right in his face. I was receiving the most devastating news of my entire life up until that point and I laughed.

Sexual (Dis)Function

It was 2012, and I was seated in business class expecting a mundane three hour flight to meet a client. My seat mate I will refer to as “Sally.” Sally was digging through her purse in a bit of a tizzy. Finally, she found her magic pills. Sally turned to me and said, “I can’t believe no one ever tells us what happens during menopause, I want to warn you of the terrible things it can do to you.”

The Life and Death of My Career

When I was 22, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. When I had first started attending college I really wanted to write, which is funny because in my 30s, it is now what I do. I kind of fell into hairdressing back then, but what I found in that decade-long career was the person I had always wanted to be. I was confident, I dressed how I wanted to dress, and I loved being behind the chair. 

Replacing Myself

“Everyone is replaceable, Dr. Shedd.”

She stares steadily at me in defiance from the back corner seat, arms folded across her chest. Her backpack in front of her remains zipped, contents tucked inside, while her classmates continue to file into the classroom. Her seat is between two immense windows in the back, and I glance beyond her to see the snow is picking up, flakes landing on the shoulders of the students trudging across campus to their various classes.

Letting Me Be Me

This is a new and interesting topic for me, as I am usually ashamed to discuss my body issues with people. Being only 4 feet, eleven inches short, I was always heckled in school. I have heard so many comments about my height that I am used to it now.

To Be Alive

Much has happened since 2019, some good and some bad. In many ways, we live in a different world. Who in 2019 could have imagined that we would live through a dystopian novel in the years to follow? But, in my own life, the most notable event came during the summer of that year—the day I received a call that confirmed that I had, in a phrase taken from Susan Sontag, “entered the realm of the sick.”

Grief During the Holidays

It is okay not to feel Joy when you hear “Joy to World.”

At this moment, as I walk through the stores and hear “Joy to the World,” I have a visceral reaction: I shudder. I want to walk out of the store and roll my eyes. I am not a grinch. I love Christmas; it is one of, if not my favorite holiday.

Complicated Grief

Complicated Grief: When Losing a Parent to Cancer and Parental Alienation Collide

When my husband died from complications of cancer 13 years ago, I endured the relentless waves of grief that young widows and widowers are forced to ride when we lose a partner and the parent to our young children. Not only do we mourn their partnership and all our shared future dreams, but we also mourn the parent our kids have lost, and the significance of that parent/child relationship our children will never get to experience.

How Cancer Undid Years of Body Hatred

Cancer and I danced a pretty strong tango. In Mid-November 2021 I got to join the club no one wants to join; I was diagnosed with Primary Stage Triple Negative Breast Cancer, grade 3c, at the ripe young age of 33. I’d been having issues with a painful lump in my right breast for a few months.

I’d always been big chested from a young age and while others may see that as a blessing, for me it had always garnered unwanted attention—from everyone.

Cancer Cannot Stop You

I have never been a runner. I was athletic, if I were to be generous about it, but never a runner.

It wasn’t until after my cancer diagnosis that I decided to hit the pavement. As a 24-year-old nonsmoker, I never expected to receive a lung cancer diagnosis, nor did I expect all the things that were to follow in the next couple of months.