brain cancer

My Invisible Illness

While it’s been 6 years since my emergency brain surgery and discovery of my rare brain tumor, whenever I unexpectedly hear the word cancer in the media or in a conversation nearby, I cringe. It’s a surreal reaction.

Dear Cancer, I am Making Ashlynne Proud

I always wondered what I would say to you, if given the chance. I had it all planned out in my head, the hatred I had for you, the anger. I have sat down to write just to delete it, and write it again.

I wish someone told me

I wish someone had told me—Told me how much it would hurt. Not the blade that cleaved my skull, To extract the unwelcome guest, Nor the threads that stitched the wound shut, Or the scar, fracturing my head, Like parched and cracking earth.

The Part That Died

When I found out I could not carry a child, a hush fell inside me—not silence, but something colder. A part of me dropped dead.

My Identity After Cancer

My mother is crying in the other room, and I don’t understand why, but I am already trembling. My heart beats faster and faster as the doctors and nurse’s shoes squeak across the hallway floor as they walk swiftly past my hospital room to see what the commotion is.

A Kinder Way to Life

Cancer, like a death sentence, was pronounced on me at the age of 33. I guess I can be only thankful that I didn’t know I had it until long after my operation was over.

My Cancer Story

I was diagnosed with Brain Cancer in December 2012. My anesthesia level was full. My treatment was five days a week for chemotherapy and one day a week for radiation therapy. I will not mention the name of the hospital that treated me, but I will say that it needs to be closed down.

You Will Be Brave, Too

Human lives are stories, and as such, defined by words. In my own case, like so many other incurable cancer patients, the word “incurable” is coded for “hopeless” and/or “doomed,” in the first weeks after diagnosis.

The Impossibilities of Life in the Mind of Someone Healthy

Dear Cancer, 

What do I want to say to you at our ten year anniversary? Like many patients, I still remember when we were introduced in 2014 like I had selective hyperthymesia for that day. At the time I received brain tumor diagnoses of grades I, II, III, and IV, with no member of my medical team able or willing to tell me anything about my prognosis.

Everyone Deserves to Date

One of the things they don’t tell you about when you’re single and have a cancer diagnosis is that it can be very difficult to date. This seems to be a sentiment shared among the AYA (adolescent and young adult) cancer community.