AYA Cancer
Pack Over Lone Wolf: Community, Words, and Miles Through Cancer
When I was diagnosed with neuroendocrine carcinoma at 33, I thought “getting through” meant surviving treatment cycles and scan days. I imagined a finish line: make it through this surgery, this chemo, this radiation, this clinical trial, and then life would return to something like normal.
Read More...Dear Cancer, Three Years Have Gone By
Three years have gone by and I still have a radiation mask sitting in my closet that once bolted me down to a cold and tall table. Three years have gone by and I have a box in my bedroom filled with every card, every hospital band, every single tangible item anyone gave to me sitting in my “cancer box” because I can’t seem to get rid of anything.
Read More...Survivorship: More Than Just Survival
What does survivorship mean to me? It’s a question I’ve wrestled with since the day I rang the bell, signaling the end of chemotherapy. People cheered, my family cried, and I smiled—but inside, I was holding my breath.
Read More...In Defense of Messy Emotions
I look out at a hundred faces of AYA patients, survivors, and their loved ones quietly sipping their coffee, tea, and water. Everyone here has taken time out of their Saturday to hear a panel of people like me explain how we’ve “made meaning” out of having cancer as a young adult.
Read More...Dear Cancer, I Still Hate You
It has been a while since the last time I talked directly to you. After some time needed away after the procedure was done to rip you back out of my life at the same speed it took you to take it over, I am finally ready to address the elephant in the room.
Read More...Beyond Your Grip
You showed up like a thief, but worse, a thief takes what they want and leaves. You moved in, uninvited, rewriting my story in ink I never chose.
Read More...A Simple Twist of Fate
I’ve always despised the trope of the patient who pulls through against all odds, despite all evidence to the contrary. Yes, diagnoses can shift and treatment plans evolve, but the ultimate trajectory rarely strays far from the original suspicion.
Read More...The Give and Take of Cancer
People often ask, “are you okay now?” But how should I really answer that question? I am so scared all the time, I can’t even think straight. I wish life was simple but it’s not. It’s complicated, hard, and crazy at times but I try to make the most out of it.
Read More...9th Life
2 years 4 walls and it’s all that I know, Never thought, I’d find myself here living back home, Feels like I’m losing myself hearing get well soons
Read More...Dear Cancer, You’re the Queen of Giving and Taking Away
You’re the queen of giving and taking away. I look back now at how much I thought my life was ruined the day I opened a mychart notification with the word carcinoma in it.
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