I’m Positive I Hate You

Dear ALK Positive,

I guess it’s time we became acquainted.

You’ve chosen this body to be your vessel. It would have been nice if you’d asked before rudely invading. Even trying to hide while you spread yourself out across more space than you needed.

I don’t mind sharing now that you’re here. However, I do have some rules, I am in charge. You can hang out as long as you need, but you’re not going to grow bigger or try to inhabit any other places you don’t belong.

Should I be honored you picked me? I do have a beautiful life. Two amazing kids, a beautiful home, a solid marriage, and a few goofy pets mixed in. “If I were you, I’d wanna be me too.” Especially because who’s ever heard of ALK positive lung cancer? Not too many.

I think we already learned from your little pleural effusion that I’m not going to lie down and give up. I know how to push through a good struggle. I’ve taken a good blow in the past and learned to stand back up.

You and I have a lot in common. We both like control. While you have genetics on your side, I have my mind. And we both want my body. We can sit here and fight back and forth, or, as I prefer, we can become a team. You can sit stable and unremarkable, while we learn from each other how to navigate life.

I’m reminded you’re not going anywhere. And as much as I would love to kick you out, I’m going to allow you to show me strength and humbleness. Because today, I’m not going anywhere either.

Sincerely,

Your New Friend-emy

This article was featured in the June 2024 Dear Cancer issue of Elephants and Tea Magazine! Click here to read our magazine issues.