Dearest Cancer

Dear Cancer,

July 1, 2020. You entered my life like a subway train speeding to its next stop. You brought so many words. Terrifying words. Confusing words. Complicated words. Hormones. Invasive ductal carcinoma. Margins. Stages. Lymph nodes. Metastasis. Surgery. Chemotherapy. Radiation. Ranges. Survival rate. Recurrence. Wigs. Food trains. Mastectomy. Lumpectomy.

Cancer, you stole so much from me that day. You stole the last year of my thirties. You stole my ability to have any more children. You stole my innocence to the world. You stole my carefree life. My life changed forever that day in July because of you, Cancer.

I will forever be aware that you are a part of my life now. It has been a long, oftentimes exhausting, and most times terrifying 3 and a half years since you first entered my life. I will admit that I have thought of your presence as mostly negative, but as time moves forward and my appointments continue, my perspective is evolving.

* * *

Dear Cancer,

July 1, 2020. The day my life was forever changed. The day that I realized that I am not immune to heartache and struggle in this life. The day that I grew up, undeniably grew up. The day that I learned how strong I truly am. The day that I learned how lucky I am to be surrounded by such a sturdy and tight support system of family and friends. The day that I learned who I am.

Cancer, you have shown me how precious life is and that I am beyond blessed each day that I wake and open my eyes. The pain and struggle that got me to this point has made me the survivor that I am. My fight is not over. You live in the back of my mind. However, I know you now. I am ready for you. I will continue to grow as a human and spread kindness wherever I can.

Dearest Cancer, thank you for your lessons.