From Passion to Purpose: Redefining Success After Cancer

“What would you say is your dream job?”

When I was asked this question in a 2018 job interview, it caught me completely off guard. I stared across the long boardroom table at the Vice President of my department and frantically searched for the right words. When I applied for the promotion I was being interviewed for at that time, I had thought it was my dream job. So why was I struggling to answer the question?

I had spent the last four years working my tail off for this opportunity. I had moved to a strange city where I didn’t know anyone, lived in a studio apartment the size of my bedroom back home and worked multiple part-time jobs to scrape by while earning my Master’s degree. I gave up job security, financial security, and my own personal sense of security for a chance to break into this industry. Now that I was there, why was I hesitating?

These questions kept me up at night for weeks after the interview was over.

Not only was I working in my chosen field, I had been with the organization for a little over a year and was treated incredibly well. I loved the people I worked with and enjoyed the office culture. We had fun at work, were given great benefits, and were treated as equals by all levels of management. On paper it was my dream job, so why didn’t it feel that way?

When I found out I hadn’t received the promotion, I was disappointed. Surprisingly, I also felt a sense of relief. It was at this moment I realized I was no longer passionate about this line of work. I was content, but something was missing. Something I couldn’t yet put my finger on.

Shortly after this interview, I had some time off from work and took a trip to Arizona. I spent my days hiking, my nights writing, and the moments in between reconnecting with myself. In addition to losing my sense of direction when it came to my career, I felt like I had lost myself somewhere along the way as well. I was desperate to know who I was again.

I took inventory of my life: the full-time job I had methodically pursued since my junior year of college, the middle school kids I mentored every morning before work, the blog I had created when I felt bored with my day job and needed a creative outlet. Which parts could I live without and which ones lit me up?

I made lists, I journaled, I sat in silence and waited for clarity to strike. It was in a middle school classroom, surrounded by twelve preteens elbow-deep in Elmer’s glue and glitter, that the answer finally found me.

Purpose.

When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2015, just two years after completing my undergraduate degree in sports communication, my world was knocked off its axis. I was halfway through graduate school, living in one of my favorite cities and working for my dream organization. I had a plan, my career path mapped out, and it didn’t include cancer.

Despite the significant changes I had to make in the immediate aftermath of that diagnosis, which included leaving my job and moving back home to small(ish)-town Wisconsin, I clung to my career goals as if my life depended on them. In a way, I think I believed it did.

Cancer had taken so much from me. I lost my independence, my health, my relationship, a feeling of safety in my own body, and any concept of certainty I once had. I couldn’t let it take my career goals, too.

I finished graduate school on time while navigating cancer and working a full-time internship, had my capstone project published, and landed another internship with my third professional sports team. Which brings us back to that interview, where I struggled to identify my dream job.

In my effort to “go back to normal” after cancer, I had put my head down and laser-focused on the one thing I felt like I could control. But I forgot to stop along the way and see if it was what was still important to me.

Cancer changes us. How can it not?

My career used to be such a defining part of how I viewed myself. If someone had asked me to tell them about myself, I would’ve told them about wanting to work for ESPN someday and fun stories about my time working in sports. I’m still proud of those things.

But I didn’t leave my day job with the same sense of fulfillment as I did walking out of a morning spent in the middle school. Passion for something was no longer enough for me. After surviving cancer, it was purpose that made me want to get out of bed in the morning.

What I do from nine-to-five no longer defines who I am. It’s a means to support the projects that I do.

As a cancer survivor, I don’t want to just live life. I want it to mean something.

I want to foster relationships, build community, and create meaningful change in the communities I belong to. I want others facing a cancer diagnosis to feel less alone, to be more empowered, and to face less barriers to treatment and care. I want everyone, especially young people, to know their voice has power.

Who am I today? I’m a four-time melanoma survivor, storyteller, and speaker.

I’m still passionate about sports (among many other things), but I’m driven by a sense of purpose.

I travel to Washington, DC multiple times a year to speak with lawmakers about funding cancer research and reducing the barriers to healthcare.

I work with local lawmakers to ease the burden of cancer for other patients and survivors in my state.

I educate others on the importance of cancer prevention and early detection.

I share my story in hopes that another young person facing a cancer diagnosis doesn’t feel as scared and alone as I did.

I no longer have a dream job. I just have a dream.

If any of this resonated with you, I have already achieved it.