My Dance with Cancer

In 2021 it felt as if my whole world was coming to an end. I had received a phone call from my doctor that no one expects or only sees in movies. She would then go on to explain, as I clung to my railing, that I had what she believed to be a rare form of leukemia, BPDCN. I feel as if many people say this after their diagnosis, but it truly is an out of body experience. Something you only see in movies and it could never possibly happen to you…until it does. Despite the fear and anger I felt that day, it was almost from that moment on my body turned on the switch to fight. Isn’t it truly incredible what our bodies can do for us?

My battle with BPDCN is a long and continuous battle to this day. In April of 2022 after numerous stays in the hospital for intensive chemo, I underwent a bone marrow transplant. Those are no joke, my friend! Since this was the time of the Covid spike, I could not have loved ones with me in the hospital. As rough as that was, it allowed for me to really focus on healing as well as grow tremendously as an individual. I became close friends with many of the nurses, and decided to shave my head while my family members watched via zoom.This is also when I started my Tik Tok page where I would do silly dances or informational videos. I did not think anyone would want to watch it, it was more so a healing thing for me and a way to document! But through it I have met other warriors and it has become so therapeutic (and just plain fun)!

After that it was a long road to recovery, only to have cancer rear its ugly head again a few months later, but this time we could try radiation which seemed to work for a short time. Then a year and a few months ago, I noticed the same signs trying to show themselves and had to go in for a second transplant, this one was from my hero: Mama! Mama Jo’s cells. I was able to slowly recover after that and was doing fine up until a few months ago where it looked like cancer wanted another dance! It has been a few months now of starting this new treatment plan, and as disheartening as it has been having it come back every so often, I will not give up. I always tried to end my tik tok videos saying, “you got this!” That is the motto that always stays in my head. Learning to take things day by day, reminding yourself that you got this! Cancer may have taken so much from my life, but there is oh so much that I have gained from it. The life lessons, the people I have met, and finding my own new strength that I never knew I had. So, sorry cancer, I win this dance!