I Love You

Dear Self,

I am writing this letter to tell you that after almost 28 years of fighting it’s okay that you have the scars that you do, both physical and emotional. It’s okay that you aren’t married yet, it was actually a TRUE BLESSING from only God Himself that, that relationship did not work with him. He was not the one. He was not the person that he pretended to be, and, in the end, he was not the person that God had for you. Although the cuts he left you with are extremely painful right now they will teach you to never accept that treatment ever again, they will become scars that will one day fade. The process of healing will be extremely painful and an everyday battle, but you will get there. The day will come where those scars will no longer hurt and will be nothing but fading memories.

It’s okay that you are not a mommy yet one day in God’s timing you will feel that unconditional love and you will hear a sweet voice call you “mommy” it is just not time now. Don’t forget that there are many options to having children and God has blessed you with having had the ability to start the process of IVF, your eggs are waiting for you whenever you are ready. There is always adoption and the option to foster a child. It does not matter how that child comes into your life you will always love him or her the same as if you had given them life.

It’s okay that you have not completed that degree and gotten that career and that “Dream Job” yet. It’s okay that you have not even completed your associate degree because you have had to deal with so much that a lot of people never deal with in their entire lives.

I want you to know that it is all okay because I LOVE YOU and I ACCEPT you for the state and phase that are in right now. It is part of the process. You are in a season that will test your Faith, your relationship with God, it will test your Spirit and self-patience but, in the end, you will be more than okay because God is with you. God has chosen you specifically for everything that you are going through now, you have been hand selected by your Father for this journey. The Lord has chosen you for this because He is using you for a far greater purpose than just yourself. Your story will inspire many. Be prepared to share it when the time is right.

Dear self I ACCEPT you just like you have accepted all of your hardships and have picked up and carried your cross daily, I ACCEPT your pain, flaws, scars and all.

Most importantly I LOVE YOU, so take care of yourself. Be kind and patient with yourself just like you are with everyone else. YOU MATTER just as much as everyone else.

Love Arely

All of the posts written for Elephants and Tea are contributed by patients, survivors, caregivers and loved ones dealing with cancer.  If you have a story or experience you would like to share with the cancer community we would love to hear from you!  Please submit your idea at https://elephantsandtea.org/contact/submissions/.