The Elephant in the Room is Cancer. Tea is the Relief Conversation Provides.

Love and Gratitude Help to Overcome Anxiety

by Anbumani S. N.Brain CancerFebruary 13, 2024View more posts from Anbumani S. N.

It’s in the fine evening of September 2019 that I had so much confusion and having headache; I already have peptitmal (partial seizures) for the last 15 years and I took anti-seizure medications to control the seizures and I had developed a lot of side effects due to those drugs. I thought it was also due to that and my chronic illness and fatigue effects have been like that for the past 15 years. Suddenly my professor asked me to consult another doctor and do an MRI scan and I was diagnosed with DNET or angiocentric glioma in the initial scan, and I had to discontinue my college for further treatment and I feared and looked anxious a lot. I had to go to treatment in another state in my country. Doctors kept me in observation for more than one year and after that they went for craniotomy. I stressed a lot about my condition to go for surgery and finally I accepted to go for surgery. In the biopsy they said that it’s angiocentric glioma and you have to be observed for 5 years they told. Due to Craniotomy, I had developed a lot of side effects: brain swelling, my eye sight’s vision was lost over the edge of my vision.

I lost my memory and a lot of things I can’t remember. I can’t explain this to my colleagues and my friends and for over the years I can’t share this to anyone and I had to live with it, work with it, study with it. Once upon a time, I was in the topper list in my school and colleges and now I can’t remember even the simplest algebra things and I can’t remember the day-to-day activities like the directions of the road and lot other things. I proposed to a girl and explained my situation but she also rejected me due to this medical complications. It added further depression to my life. I wandered in the streets. I had nothing to lose and then I loved nature and human beings in this world more. Love and gratitude make my life more beautiful to live each and every day without the anxiety of fear of my treatments and life. I love human beings and nature more and more and it helps me to overcome my anxiety.

I met a lot of people in the hospitals during surgery. There is an old man in the hospital. He had a lot of worries about their grant parents. There is a middle-aged man; he has worries about their children. There is an artist; he had worries about his passion. There is a small boy of 10 years old; he is full of fears and his family cry over all the time. A lot of people have different worries before craniotomy, and no one thinks about after the effects of craniotomy. I met those people after lot of years and the old man died. Middle man with lot of debts and worried about his life and the small boy struggles to continue his studies. Simply the lives of all persons changed after the craniotomy. In my life I spend most of the days with nature and the unknown human beings on the roadside. I developed gratitude and love to live my remaining life.

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