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The Devastated Loved One

by Kara W.Supportive Loved OneJune 18, 2024View more posts from Kara W.

Dear Cancer,

It’s hard to even want to talk to you right now. Throughout life, I’ve seen what you are capable of, the pain you cause. You destroy lives. We try to be positive. Community and family rally around those you take hold of, but you don’t care about that. What’s that going to do? You are too strong and powerful for it to matter one bit.

The grief in my heart consumes me every second of every day. Sometimes it’s hard to breath. Why her? Why? Just why!? She was 34! I miss my friend; I want her back! We want her back! I hate you. I hate every aspect of you. You are by far the worst word I’ve ever heard. I bet you despise every time you hear that bell ring and families cheering with such happiness. The hugs, the happy tears. I bet you can’t stand it. Is that why you kept coming back? To prove a point?

You steal so much. People’s chances to have babies, to work, to run, to play, to live! You touch so much. Areas that seemed to be rock solid prior to your arrival—like marriages— end because the spouse is selfish and can’t handle you. They want out because they “deserve to be happy,” so they cause more pain to the one dealing with you. How does that make sense? You leave your loved one when they have cancer!? Who does that? I bet you love seeing it though. The more pain, the better; it can be depressing, and that makes it easier for you to take hold. Right, Cancer!?

Oh, I’m sure you like to think you’re not to blame if the death certificate says “heart failure” or some other cause. Do not confuse this, it was you that got their body to that point. It’s all you! The side effects from treatments are all you! They wouldn’t have them if it wasn’t for you! Have I made myself clear on this point?

No one, and I mean no one wants to hear you mentioned at the doctors. I guess that means if you want to be feared, you’ve got your wish. I refuse to think you’ve won though. I refuse to sit by and think this is normal, that we just have to deal with you. There will be a cure. Maybe not in my lifetime, but there will be. We will not let you do this. We will not let you have the last laugh. Our loved ones deserved so much more. We deserved to have them longer; they deserved the chance to live! I hate you. I can’t say it enough.

In writing this, I was hoping to find some peace. With a character like yours though, I think you will find enjoyment in my pain. You will laugh at my belief that the world will one day be rid of you. There is no peace. Not while you still exist. Leave us all alone and never come back!

Always despising you,

A Devastated Loved One

This article was featured in the June 2024 Dear Cancer issue of Elephants and Tea Magazine! Click here to read our magazine issues.

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