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Dear Cancer (Circling Back)

by Katie NewbaumMetastatic Breast CancerJuly 9, 2024View more posts from Katie Newbaum

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young are spinning on the record player

I dance to Suite Judy Blue Eyes and remember who I am

Just a few weeks ago this scene would have been near impossible

My breath would not have allowed

such free movement

Chemotherapy drugs swim inside me

killing all suspicious cells

Allowing this graceful swaying and singing to occur today

Slowly my magical body is

giving pieces of myself back to me

Like a collage of individual images

coming together to create my new self

I can go to the movies

I can shop for groceries

I can walk to the car

I can go out to dinner

And now I’m dancing and singing along

to the melodies and harmonies and

Coming back to myself

Coming back to my breath

Coming back to my spirit

In the space between tracks of the album

I hug myself and say

“I’m so proud of you . . . you are magical”

A new song is starting, signaling a new chapter in the book of me

I’m in love with staying present as

I am constantly revealed to myself

Cancer, you can’t take that away from me.

This article was featured in the June 2024 Dear Cancer issue of Elephants and Tea Magazine! Click here to read our magazine issues.

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