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Survivorship
The stories and experiences are written by people after cancer treatments. These stories are written for those learning how to get back to work, college or just trying to be themselves again. Just getting past treatments isn’t enough, it is surviving and thriving that is key to being you again.
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The House That Survivor’s Guilt Built
Life hurts and it inspires, it causes grief and joy, it’s sweet and it’s sour. The people who have disappeared from my life, they all contributed to a story. A story much denser, more complicated and much bigger than me and my own story. I’m lucky that I got a second of their time or got to know them at all.
Read More...Body Positivity with Cancer is Kind of Bullsh*t
I can take all of these past statements that helped me make peace with my body and be gentle with her during cancer, and change them to the future tense. I love my feet for the adventures they will soon take me on, my eyes for the beauty they have yet to see, and my belly for the jokes it has yet to laugh at.
If mainstream messages of self-love and body positivity leave you feeling left out: do not fret. You still are, and always will be, worthy of self-compassion, grace, and hope.
Disappearing Behind the Diagnosis
I’ve found myself pondering and writing about friendships a lot lately. I think all human beings are created for connection, and that is something that I personally crave so much. Having obstacles to that connection is so frustrating, and I’m still piecing together what life looks like these days since finishing treatment.
Read More...The Everyday Things
I don’t remember these things from before. But I do now. Because I have more time that I didn’t expect, but is suddenly before me. Six years ago, this thing that I thought, that I was told, I would run out of is inexplicably before me and I get to observe and imagine and reflect. All of the little things. The everyday things.
Read More...Friendships Through Cancer: It’s Complicated
Although I do wish many of those friendships didn’t end the way they did, I don’t want to make anyone feel guilty for not knowing the “right” thing to do. It’s hard for anyone to figure out how to react in a situation like this, and if I’m being honest, I could come up with a huge list of what not to do and a very limited list of what to do.
Read More...Man’s Best Friend
I haven’t experienced loss to this degree before. At least when I was old enough to remember. I had no clue this would be so hard. And throwing cancer into the mix – or even the possibility of cancer – makes this so much harder. I know what it’s like to go through that. But the difference is, I made it out on the other side.
Read More...Speaking of Sex: Be H.E.A.R.D.!
But often, such conversations are an important and necessary part of addressing any worries, concerns, or questions you might have about your sex life. Cancer can change how our bodies look or how they respond to sexual touch, how we feel about our appearance, and our interest in being sexual. And yeah, bringing up any of these sensitive topics with your partner can feel really awkward. But is it impossible? Of course not!
Read More...Find What Works For You
It still hits me all over again sometimes. The fact that I had cancer. But the difference is, now I have people to turn to who feel the same way. People who are actually close to my age and have had a port, been administered chemo, gotten radiation. I might be the quietest person on those Zoom calls, but it still makes such a big impact on me.
Read More...You Can Drop the Act
You are enough for the world just as you are. There is no measure of worth, there’s no perfect cancer “survivor.” There’s no “weakness.” There’s no guidebook (although I’m sure there are some attempts out there) to tell us how to play the crappy card we’ve been dealt.
Read More...As a Survivor, I Felt Invisible.
I wanted people to see me as brave, but I saw myself as selfish, a coward, ungrateful for having survived when so many wouldn’t, and so self-absorbed and narcissistic with my pain. I saw photos and blog posts of other survivors who seemed to be doing so well. I compared myself to them and thought “I am doing this wrong. Maybe I didn’t deserve to survive this.” Then, I hated myself for thinking I didn’t deserve to beat cancer, because I had fought so hard to beat my disease, and because I did—and still do—love life, so, so passionately.
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