Survivorship

Phantoms of Daily Life

I remember when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer: I remember falling to the floor and violently sobbing. After adjusting to the diagnosis, I had assumed that I would just have a double mastectomy and move on with my life.

Marks of a Survivor

My scars. There is beauty from it, but most scars tell a story. There are these inevitable scars that I cannot hide from a time when something inside was trying to hurt me. It is an odd thought, and when I think of cancer, I often think how strange it is to have our own body do this to us.

The New Me

After a year of fighting like hell to get back to the old me, I realized that is something that will never happen again. The old me is gone, and like a phoenix from the ashes, I have to rise again and embrace the new me.

Words Leave Scars

Some people view visible scars as a reminder of what they went through. Depending on the person this could be a positive or a negative. One person may view it as a reminder of their strength, while another views it as a reminder of their struggle. There’s undoubtedly some that see it both ways.

My Scars Tell a Story

Mommy has an ouchy boo boo.
Kalli has nipples. Mommy has no nipples.
Mommom (aka grandma) has boobs. Mommy has no boobs.
Can I touch it?

Scars

Scars
Across my body are memorials to the casualties I’ve sustained.
Each its own war zone a grueling saga to be regaled.

Hindsight: I Get It Now, Mom

Not too long ago, I had the, “I Totally Understand Cancer Because Both of My Parents Had Cancer” mindset. This arrogance began soon after my mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer in 2008. My ignorance unfortunately lasted for over a decade but was thankfully interrupted by my own cancer diagnosis.

The Ghosts of Cancer That Haunt Us

I think of supporting our cancer patients and survivors who have dealt with the Ghosts of Cancer by showing how we can deal with our own Ghosts of cancer to our cancer patients and survivors. When they are experiencing cancer and grieving losing their relationship with their spouses, siblings, and family members or losing someone who had cancer, it can be very painful. 

The Club That No One Wants to Join

“Remember when it was impossible to get toilet paper?” 

I was sitting around the lunch table with my coworkers, and the conversation had turned to the early days of the COVID pandemic. As teachers, everyone had a unique story about how they were all of a sudden working remotely, managing their own families behind the scenes, while trying to teach a class of elementary students online.

Long Progression

“I’d really just like to feel like me.”

That was my go-to answer. Just wanting to feel like me.

When my cancer was first diagnosed, I felt like my body betrayed me. The only thing I knew had started working against me and now I was left with a fierce mistrust that followed throughout my treatments, surgeries, recoveries, and everything after.