Year Three: Mentally I’m… I Don’t Know
Who could ever forget 2020? Certainly not me. It will go down in history as a catastrophic year full of loss, grief, anguish, and unpredictability. If it wasn’t you yourself, you knew someone directly affected by the COVID-19 fallout: illness, job loss, struggling to stay afloat, etc. 2020 was an inescapable year. And I was no different…but for a different reason.
Read More...What Do You Want to Do With This Time?
“You have to think about how you can make the best use of these next few months. Think of what your purpose will be.” My therapist said to me.
We were discussing positive ways I could refocus my energy and use this time. I was struggling with constantly looking back at the burning rubble of what used to be my life.
Read More...My Cancer Rider
My Cancer Rider. And no I’m not referring to an insurance policy add-on. I’m talking about the type of thing celebrities have. You know, only green M&Ms in the candy dish or black toilet paper ready and waiting in the bathroom. Okay, maybe not that extreme, but you get my point.
Read More...What To Expect When You’re Not Expecting Cancer
Dear self that walked into the ER with abdominal pains not expecting the outcome to be cancer: First, I need you to take a deep breath. Exhale. Take another deep breath. Exhale.
Read More...Mama Tried
This letter is written to my sweet baby boy / Or would you have been a girl? / Honestly it doesn’t matter, I would have loved you either way / I would have loved every inch of you / From the top of your curly brown hair / Down to the bottom of your little brown feet
Read More...Sorry, I Can’t Talk Right Now, I’m Grieving…
On June 2nd, 2020, I received my cancer diagnosis. I have stage IV, high grade pancreatic neuroendocrine cancer. From that day on it was time to say goodbye to my old life, and start my new life with a cancer I had never even heard of.
Read More...From Clomid to Chemo
One of the things I struggle with as a young adult with cancer is never having children. It’s depressing when you see friends and family having and raising children all around you. And you know you’ll never get to be part of that mommy club. Especially when you were already in the process of working on it.
Read More...Reflections: One Year Into My Journey
“I feel alone when I’m surrounded by friends…” That song lyric sticks out so much for me now. Even though this song was written about love and had nothing to do with cancer, this particular lyric can ring true for a person going through cancer.
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