Appointment Summary

Dr. Crow is always in the know,
and running the show.
Ensuring everyone is following the memo:

Gambling with Words…

I remember a particular moment that occurred a couple of years ago. I was lying on the couch, tears streaming down my cheeks, with my cell phone resting on my stomach.

Adulting is Bananas

The light of the refrigerator blinded me. I was confused as to why it was so dark; I had just awakened from a nap. A nap that I had not planned. Sleep sometimes attacks me; I call them sleep attacks.

Blast Off

Being a young adult with cancer (AYA) places you on a different planet compared to everyone else. You are suddenly ejected from your life without warning. Your peers often perceive you as brave as you navigate your cancer journey and resilient because of your youth—”You’ve got this.” As if we have a choice.

Cancer and Cookies

My advice as an elevator pitch:

Cancer fucking sucks, but you don’t!!!! This cancer journey is about you. Keep that in mind. Balance will be the key. Knowledge is power; take notes, ask questions, and be curious. You don’t have to do this alone.

Can You Hear Me? Do You See Me?

I will not leave my bed this morning. Unshowered and in my PJs, I lay. My body is too heavy—laden with pain and sorrow. These later years are so different in my cancer journey than my earlier years. My cancer stayed, but in 15 years, the support has faded.

Cancer’s Crash Course in Relationships…

Cancer is a disease caused by the uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body. It has uncontrollably killed my relationships and then has divided my surviving relationships into abnormal categories. These categories are: cancer is slowly killing us, cancer made us stronger, and cancer left us somewhere in the middle. Cancer has impacted my friendships, and I haven’t found a treatment that works yet.

What Was I Thinking?!

It had been a long, hot day, and my best friend offered to make me a bath. This was a simple yes or no question, but not for me. I paused for a few minutes to ponder her offer. I have factors to consider; I have chronic T-cell large lymphocyte leukemia. This past year, I have also taken on a mystery disease for fun, which has all the symptoms of chronic heart failure, but my heart is healthy.

Aliens

As I slowly transition out of the shower, I glimpse myself in the mirror. I don’t recognize my body. I see bright-colored stretch marks, dark and angry bruises, cuts that won’t heal, and scars I can’t place. Unsolicited weight gain, sagging skin, and multiple chins.

Surviving Survivorship: The Big C

The big C. The big C represents cancer, but change should be considered (I see the word change and sing “cha cha changes” in my head every single time). Change is a spectrum and is inevitable. Change can be good or bad, or something in between. It can impact you a smidge or profoundly, or something borderline. Cancer changes almost everything, especially perspectives.