Thick is Beautiful

Thicker skin doesn’t suggest overweight
A bigger size doesn’t mean too big
The size of a waist doesn’t define beauty
Hair doesn’t define me though history is attached to it
Cancer made me believe that I had lost myself due to losing my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes
It made me think that I was no one but an empty corpse because my identity was stripped away and left me with nothing.
The chemotherapy made me see myself as a monster
My own body betrayed me without my consent and started to kill me slowly
Chemotherapy was my only choice in order to survive however,
Chemo was toxic poison going inside of me
I was told what to expect from the chemo during treatment but no one told me what to expect in life after cancer
No one prepared me for the fatigue, for the loss of energy, for vertigo, for diabetes, for hot flashes, and for chemo brain meaning the stealer of thoughts in the moment
Oh and let’s not forget about the mental state, the emotions, and the possibility of not conceiving a child
For me, thicker skin means the strength and resilience that my body was capable of enduring and of how much my body can handle.