Cancer
No Fear
There’s a tattoo inscribed on my side. / It has today’s date -September 14th / 2001 / Twenty years ago. / Underneath the date are two words written in beautiful cursive / No. Fear. / I don’t know why I followed that date with that phrase.
Read More...Grief Finds Me in Different Ways Daily
Grief Finds Me in Different Ways Daily. In the beginning, it found me as I was grieving the future I had dreamed of – a family with two or more kids and what our shiny life would be like. See, I lost my fertility right after my cancer diagnosis.
Read More...Me Then You
9/6/80. How many times have you been asked for your date of birth, like it’s a code to another level, a password at a locked door? Doctors, nurses, surgeons, pharmacists need this information before they can do their job, which is to take care of you.
Read More...Cancer and Weight
I struggled with body image my entire life. My ‘goal’ figure undoubtedly came from cultural standards, growing up during heroin chic’s heyday in the ‘90s. That goal was similarly praised by my white, middle class family, even if that enforcement went mostly unacknowledged by them.
Read More...Apology from a Bridge
I glanced at the text. The words “liver”, “enzyme” and “scans” popped out at me, and I wondered what they meant. In a nanosecond I thought back to my Thursday blood draw where my oncologist told me that my liver enzyme results had not come back yet.
Read More...Sorry, I Can’t Talk Right Now, I’m Grieving…
On June 2nd, 2020, I received my cancer diagnosis. I have stage IV, high grade pancreatic neuroendocrine cancer. From that day on it was time to say goodbye to my old life, and start my new life with a cancer I had never even heard of.
Read More...G-R-I-E-F
What does this simple but devastating five letter word really mean? Grief: does it mean to mourn or cry, or simply miss someone dear to you? Grief can be described as a lot of things to many different people, but it is never an easy word to swallow.
Read More...The “How” of Grief
He holds up the object in front of him with a wide smile on his face. A cookie – seemingly innocent and yet it looked enough like a breast. The first Pinktober after my mastectomy and lymph node dissection, I stumbled into ‘a bake sale for breast cancer’ and “boob cookies” were being sold – sugar cookies frosted pink with nipples.
Read More...The Loss of My Grandfather
In May 2011, at the age of 71, my Grandfather John was diagnosed with Bladder Cancer. I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was a sunny and warm day. My grandparents came to my parents’ house to tell us about the news after his doctor’s appointment. He was told he had to start multiple rounds of chemotherapy as soon as possible.
Read More...Computers Crash and So Do We
“Did You Back-Up Your Computer?” For those of us who were of age to watch “Sex In the City” when it originally aired, I hope you can appreciate this reference. For the younger generations watching the reruns, you may or may not appreciate it quite as much. Synopsis of the episode: “My Motherboard, My Self” (season four, episode eight; originally aired 7/15/2001 – Wow, I feel old!)
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