AYA Cancer

Debts We Don’t Owe

In February, I was faced with a sudden bout of severe pain and imaging that showed significant enlargement in one of my ovaries. Although I’ve since learned it was benign in origin, the debilitating pain and protracted (months-long) screening saga that followed triggered a fuming sense of betrayal that I couldn’t shake for about a week.

When Trauma Triggers…

As a sit here on a hot and humid day in New York City, literally today’s Wordle was “humid.” I see the air quality alert on my Alexa and weather app and am instantly taken back to when I was sick with Stage 4 Hodgkin’s disease in the summer of 1996 when I wasn’t allowed out of the house when there were such alerts.

Parent Mentoring: You Are Not Alone

There are moments in my life that I will never forget. Most of them represent important milestones like getting married, the birth of our sons, the sudden death of a good friend, and the passing of my dear parents. I can recall them all. However, there is another moment I will never forget: the day of my son’s cancer diagnosis.

I am Not A Soldier

You call me warrior, but I do not receive that title
I am a survivor, I am a mother, I am a friend
I am not a soldier

Comfortably Coping

When I think of Cancer, I think of survival. I’m not talking survival rates. No one wants to hear about that. I’m talking about pure daily survival. The everyday waking up and doing life tasks. I’ve learned that there is not a single thing that helps me through the daily monotony of living with Cancer. It’s more of a concoction; a little bit of this, a dab of that.

The Unspoken Cancer

Cervical cancer is one of the cancers you don’t hear about. If you haven’t been impacted by cervical cancer, you don’t talk about it.

I want to share my story because I want to make sure every one understands there is no shame in being diagnosed with cervical cancer. In this age and time, it’s hard to find a space and people to talk to who can relate to what you’re about to go through, are going through, or have gone through—to ask questions or to just even have an ear to listen to you.

Coping with Cancer and Isolation

Amidst the coloring books, fluffy blankets, and influx of letters that people provide to support you while facing cancer, it can still be incredibly isolating. While they’re incredibly kind and thoughtful, they do not possess the power to make you feel any less alone. You can be surrounded by a community of people who love and support you and still feel isolated.

How the Berating Surgeon Lost Her Power Over Me

Before the vaccine was available to the layperson, when the CDC was recommending double masking in public, in January of 2021, I attended my diagnostic breast biopsy alone. Double masked and still carrying the weight of my postpartum anxiety that caused a debilitating fear of germs, I entered the small, stuffy waiting room, forced to sit very close to my nervous comrades.

Year Three: Mentally I’m… I Don’t Know

Who could ever forget 2020? Certainly not me. It will go down in history as a catastrophic year full of loss, grief, anguish, and unpredictability. If it wasn’t you yourself, you knew someone directly affected by the COVID-19 fallout: illness, job loss, struggling to stay afloat, etc. 2020 was an inescapable year. And I was no different…but for a different reason.

Storm of Words

Woody Guthrie cried out
into the rising dust,
singing,
“I’ve heard a storm
of words in me” ––
A storm of words…