Growing Pains

Dear cancer,

I thank you yet despise you for the aftermath of hell you reign over my life. Down to fragments, I hardly recognize what used to even be my life before abolishing everything I once used to know about myself. Cancer, you’ve taken precedence of any matter in life yet conquering your defeat is no victory for the absolute horrors still unveiling before I can catch my breath from the last ‘thrill.’ Cancer, you’ve taught me that literally anything is possible, however anything anymore feels impossible and more often than not, like the universe is moving against me, which makes me wonder the alternative…

Cancer, I thank you for the life-altering perceptions for how I continue on with new adaptations. Cancer, you’ve shown me God and resilience in areas entirely foreign while bending time. Cancer, you’re so full of surprises, none of them welcomed, yet the ghost of you lingers although your stay was temporary. Cancer, recently I find myself missing you just to quiet the bullshit that now keeps me awake at night, like when getting through the day is all that mattered. Cancer, how is it that you’re gone yet there’s more tears now in your absence than your presence?

*Art pictured in the cover photo of this article is original artwork by the author, Kat Jackson, called an “El Duende”.