Cancer Connections

I have been diagnosed with cancer twice in the space of 8 years. Both times I have felt a real need to find others who have been through the same type of cancer to me.

When I was diagnosed, I sought out others that had been through it twice. I think in doing this I was trying to find some reassurance that I would be ok, it felt important to find others with an almost identical diagnosis, but who were much further on than me. I did indeed find someone who had the exact same type as me, who was 3 years on after her second bout. It gave me an anchor to hold onto during my treatment.

As a parent I felt enormous guilt that this was happening yet again, and I was putting my daughter through this for a second time. My treatment wasn’t straightforward, and I had no partner to support me, so my daughter became my primary carer. It felt like the parent child dynamic had switched which was very difficult for me to witness. I could see her trying to be strong so that she could support me, which broke my heart on a daily basis. I still feel a lot of guilt that she had to endure it alongside me.

My connection with some of my friends was lost during my treatment, I felt very let down by some of them, they didn’t seem to have any awareness at all about what I was going through and didn’t want to get their hands dirty by offering practical help. On the flip side my connection was strengthened with other friends who genuinely stepped up and gave me so much support on a daily basis.

I think the thing that surprised me most through all of this was the kindness of strangers when, for whatever reason, they became aware of my position. You sometimes lose faith in the human race – I know I have at times, but the incredible kindness of strangers has really been so heartwarming.