Dear Cancer: We Are Stronger Than You

Dear Cancer,

You tried to take my life away from me. From my loved ones, from my work, from my home and from my family. You tried to make me give up. You tried to defeat me.

Guess what? You did not! I am still here. I did not expect to have you in my life, and I don’t want you in my life. I don’t want you to be the focus of my life. I don’t want you to be the focus of my kid’s life and I don’t want you to consume my husband’s life. They deserve better.

I will not give you credit for the good that has happened since you entered our world. I give credit to myself, to my family, and to my circle of friends that have supported me through this.

I will live on. I will experience my sons graduating high school. I will see them go to college and I will mourn their absence once they move out. I will not let you take that away from me. I have too much love for them to miss these precious moments. I will be right by my husband’s side as we age gracefully. We’ll have that moment where we are sitting on rocking chairs, holding hands and talking about the good old days.

We are more than just cancer. I will not allow you to consume our life. We will continue to laugh and cry and argue and be a family the way we were before you crashed into our lives uninvited. We will continue to play games. We will continue to watch our shows that make us all laugh. We will continue to have disagreements and discussions. We won’t let you take over our lives. We are more than just cancer.

I frequently ask myself, “why me?” I’m a decent person. I follow the rules, the laws. I work, I do community service, and I help at my kid’s school. I don’t park in the “drive up” spots at Target when I don’t have an order to pick up. Even though other people do. I almost did it once, but my son was with me and reminded me that we aren’t those kinds of people. If we aren’t those kinds of people, why did you invade our lives? Why? We didn’t need you. We have enough on our plates. And I’m not saying that those kinds of people deserve you either, no one does!

My support circle is amazingly strong. They held me up, cheered me on, and taken such great care of me. They never hesitated to offer me help. I know who my support circle is and it’s a magical thing to know that you have such a strong army standing beside you. It’s hard to put yourself in such a vulnerable place where you do need someone else’s help, especially when you are used to being the helper. After you get past the vulnerability, you can see the true kindness that people have for one another. My boys and my husband were amazed at the generosity of others. They know that there is a village to support them. Knowing that allows me to have a sense of peace. And so, I share with you, cancer—you can not take this away from me. You cannot take this away from my family. Our army, our village, our love is stronger than you!

You are always in the back in my head. What if? What if you are back, what if you are too hard to fight the next time? But guess what, I also have so much strength, so much courage, and so much love to fight you. As many times as it takes.