My name is Tess Blasko and I am 23 a year old cancer survivor.
It was Osteosarcoma that slithered its way into my life. Being diagnosed with cancer brings you into a world where you never want to be.
Constant doctors appointments, constant worries, constant sickness, and your skin turns into needle fun-land because you are constantly being poked and pricked. Lets not even talk about the chemo hangovers where you cant even lift your head from the pillow. It was constant misery. There was never a break and I couldn’t even plan anything because when I would plan something it always fell through when my body would decide to do some funny business.
Even life after cancer is difficult. I have such a strong fear that the demon is going to return and I might not come out as strong as I did the first time. I was bald, super skinny, pale, constantly throwing up, and so mentally drained. Throughout my journey I put on such a fake front to people. I always tried putting a smile on my face to whomever I was talking to even though deep down I was screaming and hating everything. I think I did that because it was easier to just smile rather than explain the 657 reasons why I was upset.
Also, I hated when my family would see me upset, I always tried being strong for them even though I was the one going through it. Funny what you try to shield from your loved ones.
Okay enough of the sob story of the awfulness you know cancer brings, I can proudly say I am back on my feet and currently back in school! I changed my major to Human Development and Life studies and hope to become a Child Life Specialist one day.
Life after cancer is strange to say the least. I no longer have that weekly routine of chemo and hospital stays. I can walk around without instantly getting tired and out of breath. I have color in my cheeks and baby soft crazy curly hair.
Looking at me now you would never think that this time last year I was battling cancer. I look back on pictures and it scares the crap out of me. I have so many more happy days now rather than sad days. My self-confidence is built back up to a certain extent and it feels so damn good to no longer be bald! My hair is so crazy these days and even though it drives me up the wall I am thankful for it. I now actually get excited for plans because 9 time out of 10 it’s going
to happen.
We all know there is no planning ahead in the cancer world. As I walk down memory lane, it makes me realize that I put my cancer life so far in the back of my head that sometimes it doesn’t even feel real. I am so caught up in my life these days its crazy to believe this time last year I was so sick in a hospital bed.
My goals last year were to survive to kick cancers ass now my goals now include me finishing school at a decent time and finally making my dream of becoming a Child Life Specialist a reality. This time last year I used to dread waking up and dealing with days ahead, these days I wake up and cannot wait to see what the new day has in store for me.
My social life is great, my grades are all still passing, and my boyfriend and I got a puppy! Her name is Milly and she is my pride and joy. One thi
ng I would recommend to all cancer survivors; puppies/dogs bring a light into your life that you never knew you needed. She became my fur daughter and on my saddest days she brings me so much happiness.
We all need something to bring us out of darkness. My life really is good right now but I still have my moments of despair, worry, and sadness. Some days are harder than others and some days I am perfectly fine. I constantly have to remind myself of where I was a year ago and compare it to where I am now. I always tell myself that I am a bad ass and I can make it through anything! You’re a bad ass too! Never forget that.
My story is still being written and I am so excited to share my story and live this new life after cancer that I have been blessed with. Whoever is reading this; lift your head up and tell yourself you’re going to make it through. Never stop pushing yourself, and always look for the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Cancer brings the flames and you’ll come stronger than you ever thought is possible.
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