Struggles of Survivorship

I am about to celebrate my 5-year cancerversary. As I reflected on my own experience with thyroid cancer and what survivorship means to me. It’s not my fault that I had thyroid cancer. I have a lot of mixed emotions after going through thyroid cancer, but I need to let it go and give it to God. I don’t like to deal with the regret that comes with dealing with survivor’s guilt, and with the mixed emotions. Sometimes I place blame on someone who isn’t supporting me. But I need to stop blaming myself and stop placing blame on others. I think it is important to forgive ourselves and others. It is OK not to be OK, but I need to stop talking about negative things and stay positive. I am really grateful that I have survived thyroid cancer for 5 years. I think survivor’s guilt is like listening to the enemy’s lies or negative things that make us feel guilty, resentful, and responsible for our actions. We all have doubts and are dealing with fear, but I never let that steal the joy and happiness and all the blessings that God has given me. We need to stay strong and be brave. God is not done with me, and He is fighting for me in my battle now, just like he did for me three years ago as I was going through thyroid cancer. I have let go of my fears about thyroid cancer and given them to God.

What is something I have lost or experienced through thyroid cancer that haunted me? After I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in June 2020, 5 years ago, my life and my whole world was turned upside down. It did cause me to spiral into negative thoughts that affected me after I found out about my thyroid cancer diagnosis because it can cause me to deal with worry, loss for words, feeling lost in your faith in God, lonely, very depressed, deep sadness, and feeling angry after being diagnosed with thyroid cancer. When you are feeling isolated from your friends and lose both jobs due to COVID. During my thyroid cancer treatment for radioactive iodine treatment for my thyroid cancer I did deal a lot with scan anxiety. After being in full remission from thyroid cancer for 5 years now I have realized that I need God to help me a lot by giving me peace. God helped me a lot to face my own fears over thyroid cancer. He can help me by overcoming my fears over thyroid cancer because God has taught me how to stay positive, by focusing on God, and putting my trust in God because He has helped me not to lose faith in Jesus. He is my only focus, not focusing on the storm, the trials, and the fears over thyroid cancer that helps me to cope to stay positive, stay strong in my faith and by not allowing fear to win over thyroid cancer because God has helped me fight and overcome my fears over thyroid cancer. That’s why I think it is important for me to know the meaning of survivorship as a thyroid cancer. By knowing God has shown me that I should always put my trust on Jesus because He will bring the peace, and to see how far we have overcome when we go through storms, my trials, the fears, worry, and depression during my cancer journey, cancer treatments, losing someone from cancer, or losing our loved ones from a broken relationship. I just wanted to share how important it is to share with others who are going through their cancer journey and treatments when they know someone who just got diagnosed with cancer, when they lose their loved ones, friends, siblings, and family members from cancer. Losing someone from a broken relationship can make us really feel lost, lonely, isolated, unwanted, unloved, depressed, and in deep sadness. That is when we are struggling with our own ghosts of cancer and our own Survivor’s Guilt, by worrying, being afraid, and feeling the ghosts of cancer that haunt us.

I think it is important to have people in our lives who support us physically, emotionally, and spiritually who are going through their cancer journey and going through cancer treatments. It is really sad to see the person that we love going through their cancer journey and treatments and having the experience with their mixed emotions and grieving when someone we know that we have lost from cancer. It can get very frustrating, loss of words, lost, anger, sadness, worry, and fear from going through this cancer scare.

I think it is OK to ask ourselves the questions, “Why Me?” or “Why Does This Person Have to Go Through This Cancer Scare?” We all struggle with our own ghosts of cancer and our own survivor’s guilt. After I was diagnosed with papillary carcinoma thyroid cancer it did leave me without words, but I had all the support, and all the love from the people in my life who encouraged me, prayed for me. When I don’t get the love and the support from some of the people in my life it can make me feel isolated, unwanted, unloved, lonely, and never gotten to celebrate a cancerversary milestone. It can make us feel hurtful, sad, and it can be really hard when people will break our hearts, and they can always judge us and criticize us.

Sometimes I wish people in my life could’ve been really supportive to me and to be proud of me as a Christian, and as a thyroid cancer and sharing with others who are going through cancer journey and going through cancer treatment. I am sharing my thyroid cancer story and my testimony by showing how God has given me the opportunity by sharing about overcoming my fears over thyroid cancer to show people who are going through a cancer journey and going through cancer treatment. God has taught me with my confidence about being confident on my scar on my neck and about my faith in God by sharing with others who are struggling with their own experience with their fears, mixed emotions, feeling the ghosts of cancer and feeling the Survivor’s Guilt.

I have also learned how God wants me to feel confident about my scars, be more grateful for what I have been through with my own experience with thyroid cancer, and the ghosts of thyroid cancer that haunts me. God has really taught me by learning how I can be more appreciated about my scar. Your scars and experiences show you how far you have overcome in your own battles with cancer. That’s what a thyroid cancer survivor looks like who deals with their Survivorship? That’s why I stay focused on my faith in Jesus, stay positive, and don’t lose hope. After going through total thyroidectomy, and going through thyroid cancer treatment four years ago, I have felt and appreciated all the love, encouragement, and prayers, and have a loving thyroid cancer support group who have been there for me.

I am truly blessed to be alive and know that God has really given me the opportunity to share my thyroid cancer story and my testimony to others who are going through a cancer journey and going through cancer treatment. God is allowing me to share my victory and how strong I am in my faith. I choose Faith over Fear.

With the Ghosts of Cancer, my mixed emotions when I am trying to place the blame on myself or someone in my life who isn’t supportive to me in my thyroid cancer journey, I am letting it go and giving it to God. I think it is important that we should always love and support our AYA community members with cancer. Grieving and some counseling for them when they lose their loved ones who had cancer or losing their relationship with someone is important. We need to be more kind, loving, encouraging by making them feel welcome. I think it is important that we should always forgive ourselves and others. It is OK not to be okay about negative thoughts by not allowing the lies of the enemy to steal their joy, their happiness, and all the blessings that God has given to us. I think it is important to all AYA cancer patients and survivors to stay strong, and be brave.

To everyone who is facing cancer to share their stories and our testimonials to allow us to have the opportunity to help others to understand what it means to feel less alone in their cancer journey. It’s important to find a moral support group that supports you physically, emotionally, and spiritually with your own journey by telling others who are facing cancer and who have survived cancer they aren’t alone. I think we all need to be more loving, welcoming, kind, caring, and understanding of what we are all going through in a cancer journey. After I went through my own experience with thyroid cancer journey, I would like to share my testimony because I am not ashamed.