Survivorship and Connection After Cancer

“But you’re so young! You’re so healthy!”

These were the words I’d hear most often not long after my cancer diagnosis at the age of twenty-five. When you hear the word cancer, it’s not often that someone under the age of 40 comes to mind. From the moment you receive a cancer diagnosis, your days are quickly filled with scans, blood draws, infusions, appointments, and oftentimes, a feeling of being in limbo or “purgatory”, as some AYA survivors call it. Instead of touring college campuses, starting grad school, or advancing in your career, you’re making life-and-death decisions, watching friends move forward in life, and sometimes feeling those friends distance themselves (known as cancer ghosting) – unsure of what to do, afraid to say the wrong thing, and even reflecting on their own health – knowing that cancer doesn’t discriminate.

Survivors’ Day used to be an annual occasion that made a knot form in my stomach and tears spring immediately from my eyes. Being given a label and an experience that you never wanted and didn’t ask for gives you a lot to reckon with, and for many, it’s a lifelong journey of making peace with something that wreaks havoc (sometimes in perpetuity) in every corner of your world. When you receive a cancer diagnosis, your plans for the future are quickly halted, and the weight of what is settled in. We grapple with the cards we’ve been dealt as we attempt to make sense of what we’re about to endure – a trial by fire, of sorts.

Survivors’ Day can hold many emotions for each survivor, ranging from joy, relief, and gratitude to sadness and grief – each feeling as valid as the next. Throughout survivorship with the help of AYA support groups and counseling, I’ve been able to find my voice in the ‘after,’ and make sense of my lived experience through nonprofit work and advocacy for fellow survivors. My work in and involvement with local and national organizations has helped me heal, connect with fellow AYAs, and has reshaped my view of what Survivors’ Day can mean – new beginnings, strength, and resilience from within.